Deshaming — Returning to the Innocence of Being

Shame is one of the most hidden, corrosive forces within the human psyche.

It contracts the body, freezes expression, and whispers the lie: “Something is wrong with me.”Yet beneath that lie lives a profound truth — shame is not who we are.

It is a learned response, a survival strategy, an inherited imprint that once protected us from disconnection.

Deshaming is the sacred process of remembering our inherent innocence.

It is not about denying what we’ve done or what has happened — it’s about unhooking our identity from the belief that our essence is bad, broken, or unworthy of love.

From a somatic and spiritual perspective, shame is not merely a thought or emotion; it is an energetic contraction in the body. It pulls us inward, collapses the spine, lowers the gaze. The body says: hide.

Deshaming, therefore, is a process of softening that contraction — through awareness, compassion, and relational safety — until the frozen parts of us begin to breathe again.

The Phases of Deshaming

Deshaming is not a single breakthrough — it’s a cyclical unfolding.

Like peeling layers of protection, we meet each phase with tenderness.

1. Awareness — Seeing the Shame Field

The first phase begins when we see shame for what it is.

Often, shame hides behind other emotions: anger, avoidance, perfectionism, self-sabotage.We start to recognize its voice — that inner critic, that tightening before expression, that reflex to apologize for existing.

In awareness, we begin to separate I am feeling shame from I am shame.

This subtle distinction opens space for healing.

The witness awakens — gentle, curious, nonjudgmental.

2. Compassion — Meeting the Part That Hides

Once we recognize shame, the next step is compassionate contact.We turn toward the part of us that feels unworthy and say, I see you. You make sense.

This is often the inner child — the one who learned that love must be earned, that being seen was dangerous, or that authenticity led to rejection.

Through presence, touch, and breath, we offer this part safety.

We let the body know: it’s safe now to feel, to be, to take up space.

In this phase, tears often come — not from pain alone, but from relief.

Shame begins to melt in the warmth of compassion.

3. Expression — Letting the Truth Move

As shame softens, the energy that was bound beneath it starts to move.

The body may tremble, shake, or want to cry, roar, dance, or speak.

This is the nervous system completing what it once had to suppress.

Expression is how shame transforms into life force.

When we allow our truth to be voiced — even imperfectly — we reclaim our dignity.

We say: I no longer hide to be loved. I show myself to belong.

This phase can feel messy, primal, powerful — it’s the reclamation of vitality that shame once trapped.

4. Integration — Rewriting the Story

With expression comes integration.

The nervous system recalibrates; new pathways of safety and self-trust form.

We begin to live from a different narrative — one rooted in self-compassion and sovereignty.

Integration doesn’t mean shame never arises again — it means we now recognize it as a visitor, not a truth.

When it comes, we meet it with breath, movement, and kindness.

The story shifts from “There’s something wrong with me” to “Something in me needs care.”

That is deshaming — the rewriting of our inner mythology.

The Sacred Gift of Deshaming

When we move through these phases, we not only heal ourselves — we change the field around us.

Our presence becomes a permission slip for others to soften, to be real, to stop performing perfection.

We stop passing down the inheritance of shame through our words, our parenting, our relationships.

Deshaming is a return to the original innocence of being — the place where the divine and the human meet, unguarded and whole.

It is a remembrance that your worth was never lost.

Only covered — waiting to be seen, felt, and loved back into fullness.

Thank you for reading,

and remember that everything you seek is already within you.

Heart to Heart,

Christina

  © Christina Georgiou