Befriending Anger and Rage: A Somatic and Soulful Approach

Christina Georgiou
May 1, 2022
4 min read

Updated: Jun 5

Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions. From a very young age, we experience it not only as a mental state but also as a series of sensations in the body—tightness in the jaw, tension in the fists, heat in the chest, or a flushed face. Yet many of us are conditioned to believe that anger is inherently “bad” or shameful. As a yoga teacher, coach, and someone who has personally experienced deep anger and rage, I’ve come to understand that these emotions are not only natural—they are also crucial messengers of inner truth.

What Is Anger, and Why Do We Fear It?

Anger is a natural emotional response to perceived threats, injustice, or boundary violations. Rage is its more intense counterpart—often the result of unexpressed or prolonged anger. According to Dr. Ronald Potter-Efron, a psychotherapist specializing in anger disorders, rage typically stems from chronic feelings of powerlessness, abandonment, or invalidation. This aligns with somatic research that suggests unprocessed trauma is often stored in the body and can be reactivated under stress, manifesting as intense emotional responses (Levine, Waking the Tiger, 1997).

Generational beliefs play a strong role in shaping our emotional responses. Many of us were raised in families where anger was suppressed, punished, or ignored. The belief that “anger is dangerous” is often inherited and internalized, leading to fear or guilt whenever anger arises. However, repressing anger does not eliminate it—it merely buries it deeper, where it may fester and eventually erupt as rage, anxiety, or depression (Van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score, 2014).

Anger will always be felt because it is part of the human emotional spectrum. The real work lies in learning how to recognize, express, and integrate it in a way that supports healing rather than harm.

My Three-Stage Approach to Working with Anger and Rage

This method is rooted in both personal experience and professional practice. It blends somatic awareness, emotional intelligence, and compassionate self-inquiry.

1. Understanding Anger Somatically and Psychologically

The first step in healing our relationship with anger is understanding it—not just intellectually, but through the body. Anger typically arises in the body before the mind can catch up. Common somatic signs include:

Rapid heartbeat
Muscle tension (especially in the neck, shoulders, and hands)
Shallow breathing
Heat or a "boiling" sensation in the chest or abdomen
Urges to yell, throw, or hit something

In somatic psychology, these signals are recognized as the body’s mobilization response, part of the autonomic nervous system’s fight-or-flight reaction. This doesn’t mean anger is a threat to be avoided—rather, it’s a call for action, signaling that a boundary may have been crossed.

Without awareness, we may lash out impulsively or turn that energy inward through shame, self-judgment, or depression. Clinical psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner notes that anger is not the problem; it’s how we express it—or don’t—that determines whether it becomes destructive or healing.

“Anger is a signal and one worth listening to.” – Dr. Harriet Lerner

2. Expressing Anger Safely and Fully

The second stage is learning to express anger in a safe, contained, and conscious way. Anger wants to move—so we must allow it to move through us, not at others.

Some healthy outlets for anger include:

Screaming into a pillow or in nature
Hitting a punching bag or stomping
Writing an “angry letter” you never send
Using vocal toning (e.g., growling or primal sound)
Shaking or dancing to release tension
Creating ritualized "rage rooms" or movement practices

You can also ask a trusted person to witness you without judgment, simply holding space as you move through the energy. This mirrors somatic therapy practices such as co-regulation, where the nervous system calms in the presence of a grounded other.

Visualization can be powerful here. Imagine breaking what needs to be broken, screaming what needs to be said—but all in your inner world. The body will often respond as though the expression has occurred.

The key is to avoid directing anger at someone—words and actions in the heat of rage can leave deep emotional wounds. Instead, express to release, not to harm.

3. Befriending the Emotion: Reflection and Integration

After anger has been expressed, the body begins to shift back into a calmer parasympathetic state. In this third phase, we begin the deeper work of befriending the emotion.

Ask yourself:

What triggered the anger?
What boundary was crossed?
What truth was revealed through this emotion?
What do I need now to feel safe or seen?

This stage requires presence and honesty. When we stop fearing anger, we can meet it with curiosity. We recognize it not as a threat but as an ally—a voice advocating for our needs, values, and wounds that require healing.

Over time, this process increases emotional resilience. We no longer fear our anger or suppress it. We listen, we release, we learn.

The Deeper Meaning of Anger and Rage

Anger and rage rarely emerge without cause. They are often rooted in old wounds, trauma, unmet needs, or disrespected boundaries. When these emotions surface, they invite us to examine where we have been silenced, violated, or denied.

From a healing perspective, they are not failures of self-control—they are calls to self-love. When honored and expressed skillfully, they become tools for transformation, boundary repair, and trauma integration.

Final Words

I share this approach with deep compassion—for the child in you who was told to “calm down,” for the adult in you trying to hold it all together, and for the soul in you who longs to be fully free.

Let us remember: